All Beginnings are Hard

I am re-reading a Chaim Potok book called In the Beginning.

The first sentence in the book reads, “All beginnings are hard.”

Since reading that sentence a week ago, it has silently become my mantra.

I am at the beginning of a lot of things these days.

I am teaching a new class, which is always more work at the beginning. I have also taken on producing a monthly event at my church – jumping onto a moving train takes some getting used to before you don’t feel rattled around.

But I’m also new to parenting. I haven’t been at it a year, and let’s face it, the learning curve is huge (does it ever stop, really?). When I was pregnant with my first, I was dreading the first 3 months after her birth because I thought that would be the main adjustment period, then I would go on with my new life as a mom. Looking back, the first three months were easy (heck, people were bringing us meals, my mom was still cleaning for me, and infants just sleep). It’s the settling in after that when I realized that my life was not going back to any kind of rhythm that I recognized that was more of a whiplash for me.

And my husband and I are still trying to figure out how to be married, with children. I honestly have to make an effort to put him before my daughter (if you saw her, you’d understand – she’s CUTE!) – and we are evaluating nearly every week how to keep our relationship in the forefront.

Now I’ve moved into the beginning of a new pregnancy. It’s hard enough adjusting to the idea of a new baby when you’re trying – but when it’s a surprise and then you’re sick…it messes with you. Or it messes with me. I am thrilled beyond belief to be having another baby. But the beginning of pregnancy is hard (well, all of pregnancy is hard) – if it wasn’t for the attention you start getting and the cuts in line and all the help with your bags… well, you get the idea.

Not only is the beginning of pregnancy hard, but I’m staring down the beginning of another new life.

I suppose I’m just feeling a little rustled recently…this on top of the fact that last winter was cold and dark and we didn’t even really get a summer and now there’s talk of snow. Anyone in the midwest feels my pain – the weather affects us!

But I digress…

I don’t want to be a downer about my life. All beginnings are hard, but all beginnings are good. There’s a reason God chose a bright shiny orb to shine down on us each morning after rising through a palette of color. The dawn is breathtaking. But you do have to wipe the sleep from your eyes and actually get out of bed to embrace the day, the new beginning.

Autumn Vegetable Soup

I have this soup simmering on the stove for lunch today. I haven’t tried it yet, but it smells delicious. And, it’s a great way to use up odds and ends from my farm pick-up.

This recipe is from Simply in Season:

1/2 C onion (chopped)
2 cloves garlic (minced)
In a soup pot, saute onion in 1 Tbs olive oil over medium heat until soft. Add garlic and saute 1 min.

1/2 cup each: kale, cabbage, carrots, red or green sweet pepper (chopped)
1/2 tsp each: salt, dried basil, dried oregano
1/8 tsp pepper
Add and saute a little, then turn heat down to low, cover pan, and let cook about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

2 C bean cooking liquid or broth
1 C tomato juice
3/4 cup cooked beans
1/2 cup corn
2 tsp dried instant barley
2 tsp alphabet or orzo pasta
1 1/2 Tbs red cooking wine (optional – I used a little extra water)
Add and bring to a gentle boil and simmer about 15 minutes.

1/2 C tomatoes (chopped)
1 Tbs fresh parsley
Add tomatoes and parsley, simmer another few minutes.
::

I made a few changes to fit what I had on hand. I had no kale or cabbage, but I did have celery, which I added. I had some homemade chicken stock that I used and I had a can of black beans, which I used for the beans. I wish I had some white beans – that would be so tasty – but I didn’t have any of those on hand. Instead of dried, instant barley, I used a few Tbs of cooked brown rice that I already had on hand in the fridge.

I’m planning to serve this for lunch with garlic and Parmesan toast.

Pick a Body and Go with It!

Anyone remember the SNL skit where someone playing Seinfeld (or maybe it was him playing himself…) does this stand-up routine and he says:

“What’s the deal with Oprah? She’s fat, she’s thin, she’s fat, she’s thin. I mean, pick a body and go with it!”

I’ve been thinking about that recently. Not overall in the last year – though this does describe the last year-and-a-half of my life – but more so recently with this pregnancy.

Depending on the time of day you see me, I may or may not look pregnant.

Usually morning to mid-afternoon, I don’t look pregnant. But by evening, well, there’s no mistaking it.

It’s funny because I looked more pregnant earlier on in my pregnancy.

The problem for me right now is calorie intake. I am having a very difficult time getting the amount of calories I need to support all that is going on with my body. I just don’t feel like eating most days – and most foods are a turn-off for me.

Trust me, I am not being picky about the foods I eat, either. If something sounds good, then I go for it – cold-cuts, soft cheese and all. I’m trying to focus on calorie intake to get me through the end of the sick time of pregnancy.

I was doing good with Eggo waffles. But after eating six yesterday (yes, you read that right – SIX), I was finishing up two for my breakfast today and trying not to gag. I think my old fall-back food has run its course.

The good news is that since I’m barely nursing my 9-mo, I can eat dairy again. No, it’s not great for me, but cheese and pregnancy are, for me, like two sides of a coin. I’m glad to have sharp cheddar back in my life.

REAL Confessions

Today is a day for truthiness. So here goes:

I’m pregnant.

and

My diet has gone down the drain.

I originally started this blog as “Confessions of a Health Counselor.” You want some true confessions? These will make you feel better about any and all food decisions you have made in the last 6 years.

I am in the mess of first-trimester woahs. For me, this begins with eating everything on the planet. Two days in a row of hitting up Arby’s and then Culver’s, respectively, at 4pm should have clued me in enough to take a pregnancy test.

Then the nausea sets in. I can combat this for a few weeks by eating. So I eat everything in sight and try to make it semi-healthy.

Then the real nausea and fatigue set in. This is the stage I am trudging through right now. Sometimes smells make me gag. Sometimes certain textures make me gag. It’s all a guessing game. And I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t want to eat at all. Of course, this doesn’t bode well for healthy weight gain during pregnancy. I noticed that I was starting to lose weight (which I did during my first pregnancy) and I knew it was TIME.

Time? you ask.

Yes, time for the Eggo waffles. Time for anything I can stomach that will feed me calories to get through these weeks.

Deep breath and jump right into the confessional section:

- I eat blueberry Eggo waffles at all moments of the day when I can’t think of anything else to eat, which is often.

- I made manwich for dinner the other night.

- The only veggies I can stomach are carrots and salad (only if it’s topped with Annie’s Goddess dressing)

- Fruit is passable – so I eat grapes and bananas along with my 9-month-old

- I drink soda. Gasp, I know. But ginger ale settles my stomach. So there.

- Cucumbers (and pickles) make me sick. So at the height of the fresh, local availability of crisp cucumbers, I can have none.

- I made my husband make rice krispy treats last night (on another note – those are HARD to make. What in the world are marshmallows MADE of?! That stuff is no joke.)

Whew. I’m glad we got that out in the open. See why I didn’t want to blog?

On a more serious note, I feel totally blessed. This growing baby inside me is a true gift from God, and I feel the weight of that gift. So all this ickiness is just a phase, and really, it’s for a great cause.

On the plus side: I am listening to my body. This is one concept I push with my clients so much – listen to your body and it will tell you what it needs. Right now, my body doesn’t need me to trudge through veggie-laden meals and slave over the stove for foods that I *think* are healthy. Right now, I just need calories, and I need rest. I am listening and I am responding – to both.

And speaking of that. My 9-month-old is down for a nap, so it’s about that time for me. I have discovered one joy of the late-summer season that I can enjoy: fresh tomatoes sliced on bread with melted cheese. I have a green tomato and an orange one just waiting for me…

Back in Balance

My silence here is indicative of the lack of balance in the rest of my life.

These days I feel like everything is out of balance. I need more rest, more time with the hubby, more breaks, more concentrated time for my work – and can I get someone to pretty please clean my house?

Even my food seems to be out of balance these days.

And all I’ve wanted to do is come on this blog and cry and whine about my life. But no one wants to hear that.

Instead, my pal offered to take my 9-month-old on Friday. My hubby was home, so we set out to finish some projects. I finished writing my musical and mailed it off to the production company who is staging it in December. Then, we worked together to clean our house. It makes such a difference to be in a clean house.

I have also been inspired by this same friend who watched my daughter to get rid of things – mainly clutter. So I spent the morning yesterday putzing around looking for things to recycle, throw away or just plain get out of my house. I managed to get rid of a few piles and declutter a few drawers. It’s not much, but it’s a start.

So my life is not totally in balance yet, but it’s a start. I started with the stuff in my house – finishing some projects and cleaning things out. For me, it’s always best to start small and organize (or balance) one area – and when I am feeling most overwhelmed, I pick the area of my life that takes the least amount of thought (this time, it was my house). And even if I still feel like I could use a little more balance, and even if there are still small piles of clutter (or an entire basement that needs attention), at least I’ve started somewhere and feel like I have accomplished something.

What small task can you do to jumpstart yourself back into balance? Make a meal in advance for the week? Drink more water today? Clean out a closet? Go for a walk? Choose one thing and be proud of yourself for making a decision that leads you to a path of health.

Chicken Salad

Yesterday I roasted a chicken, which took far longer than I anticipated. But it was so worth it! I de-boned it (and ate my fair share in the process) and made stock out of the bones last night.

I love having cooked, roasted chicken around. It’s great for a quick sandwich, or to add to a soup, or to top a salad.

One of my favorite summertime recipes is chicken salad. I found this recipe on Whole Foods Market dot com a few summers ago and I love it. I didn’t follow the recipe today, and as I was eating, I thought, “this would be really good with green onions.” And so the recipe calls for them… I wish I had them, but I’m out right now!

One change I make to the recipe is that I don’t use yogurt. I try not to eat a lot of dairy, so I avoid that part. Instead, I thin out my mayo with lemon juice (and if you’re using a fresh lemon, by all means add the zest!) and added chopped parsley. I whisked that and added it to the salad. Also, I had leftover brown rice, so I used that instead of wild rice. Really, I see a recipe as more of a guide of suggestions…

Here it is:

Artichoke Chicken Salad

Ingredients

4 grilled, boneless skinless chicken breasts, diced
3 large green onions, chopped
3/4 cup pitted black olives, chopped
5 plain or marinated artichoke hearts, chopped
2 cups cooked wild rice
1/3 cup expeller pressed mayonnaise
1/3 cup plain low fat yogurt
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Method

Toss chicken with green onions, olive, artichoke hearts and wild rice. In a small bowl, combine mayonnaise and yogurt. Toss with chicken. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt and pepper.

Appearance and Identity: what I’m learning about letting go

One of my staples about myself growing up was my curly hair. Of course, I always wanted it to be straight and blond – and everyone always told me they would kill (or pay a lot) for my curls and dark, natural red highlights.

I eventually grew into my hair, and I grew to love it.

So when I noticed a few months ago – after having my first child – that my curls were starting to disappear, I felt like I was losing some of my identity. Who is Heather Hammond with STRAIGHT hair? And, how the heck do I style my hair if it’s not curly. Seriously – can someone show me how to use a round brush or a curling iron?!

More than just my appearance, I felt like I was losing a part of my identity. On the one hand, I knew this was silly – afterall, it was just my hair. But on the other hand, I felt like this one aspect of my appearance defined ME.

The truth is, no part of our appearance defines who we are – whether it’s a good feature, like curly hair, or it’s something we’d rather not draw attention to (like those extra ten pounds or extra-large feet). I’ve started to focus on who I really am and what expressions of my personality define my identity – highlighting ones that don’t have anything to do with my appearance.

It’s difficult to separate the two – appearance and identity. But accepting who we are physically allows us to embrace who we are as a person as well.

I’m letting go of my curls and embracing my spirit. Is there something you need to let go of about your physical appearance in order to embrace the fullness of who you are?

Back from Vacation and Back to Farm-Fresh Foods!

We’re back from an amazing vacation. Well, just the fact that it was a vacation makes it amazing. We drove to the Southeast where there are things like Chic-Fil-A, the salt-water ocean, warm weather, and my in-laws – who were able to fawn over our 8-month-old, hold her, spoil her, and most importantly, watch her so that the hubby and I could go on two – count them TWO – dates. One of those dates ended in a shopping trip for me to H&M…I was one happy girl.

One thing I will say about my in-laws: they love food. And whenever we are together, it is all about the food. Vacations are a good time to set rules aside and eat some good ol’ comfort food, which we did (I mentioned Chic-Fil-A, didn’t I?).

We had a fish fry and fish tacos – all made from mahi-mahi my father-in-law caught. We ate tomato sandwiches from the still-warm tomatoes growing out back. We ate blueberry pancakes for breakfast and even had a southern breakfast, complete with sausage gravy and biscuits. We also ate out a few times, including one dinner sitting in a booth overlooking the ocean drinking orange crush and eating hush puppies and she-crab soup. And, I ate my weight in fresh peaches.

The food was certainly good, and it was nice to relax. But you know what I missed most, and am most excited to come home to? My farm share.

I tried incorporating greens into several meals, and when we stopped to see friends on the way home in another part of the state, they made a concerted effort to have vegetables available.

But I miss fresh-picked-that-day salad greens (and every other fresh veggie from the farm). We ate salads a number of times, but it feels like sacrilidge to eat romaine from the grocery store in the summer. That stuff tastes like plastic – I don’t blame people for not liking vegetables if that is all they are exposed to…bland, bland, bland!

My mom and I split our farm share, so even though I missed the pick-up yesterday, she has my veggies ready and waiting today. This is about the time of year when the bounty and variety really kick in – I can’t wait to see what new veggies will be peaking out from the bags my mom brings.

The weather at home is beautiful, and slightly cool – perfect for roasting cauliflower or broccoli or any other root veggie (do I dare get excited about beets yet?!). Mmm…my stomach’s growling already (which is bad news while I stare down our post-vacation bare kitchen) – will have to call my mom soon…

Fashion

If you were to follow my life throughout its entirety, you would see a theme in the clothes that I wear – mainly that fashion is a way I use to express myself. (Anyone remember the vintage pastel green-and-pink skirt-suit with gold buttons? Or the cat skirt?)

If you’ve known me in the last several years – and more specifically since I’ve had a baby – chances are you’ve seen me out and about in chacos and hemp pants and you’re probably thinking: YOU and FASHION?

Ehem.

What I love about clothes is the ability to express myself through what I wear – or set a mood, or “dress the part.” After I graduated from college, I taught High School English for a few years. Because I am petite and look mild-mannered, I used my clothes to set the tone for my classroom the first week. In fact, I would pull my hair back in a bun, don a skirt and blazer, put on some pumps and nylons – and I called it my teaching costume.

I recently stumbled on The Uniform Project. Basically, this woman is wearing one dress for 365 days, but is using her well of second-hand accessories and creative donations from other artists to make a “look” for the day. I loooove seeing her creativity every single day- and I love the fact that she is using vintage, second-hand, and hand-made items to accessorize. Plus, she wears hats a lot, which I adore.

But, the cool thing about The Uniform Project is not that this woman is just using her creativity every day to entertain. She is also simultaneously raising money for impoverished schools in India. The Web site reads:

The Uniform Project is also a year-long fundraiser for the Akanksha Foundation, a grassroots movement that is revolutionizing education in India. At the end of the year, all contributions will go toward Akanksha’s School Project to fund uniforms and other educational expenses for children living in Indian slums.
The artist came up with the idea to wear this one style of dress (for the record, she has 7 dresses that she rotates so she can launder them) because she grew up wearing uniforms to school; but even with a uniform, you could see how students expressed their individuality by the flare they added to the required duds.

I’ve been reading a lot of mom blogs these days that plug certain sites or causes because they are getting free stuff. So I would like to point out that I have no connection to this project, other than the fact that I subscribe to the feed and follow her every day (both on the blog and on twitter). And, I’ve been more inspired recently to dig into my closet to jazz up my outfits – with scarves, necklaces, mesh tights, and yes, even hats. Also, I’ve been inspired to buy vintage and shop second-hand – there are plenty of treasures to be found if you just dig a little…and what a great way to shop “green.”

Go visit the site – you may just get hooked!

Shopping DVD Winner

Thanks to everyone who entered the giveaway for the shopping DVD. Congratulations to our winner – Deborah!

If you didn’t win, don’t worry – there will be more summer giveaways. Keep checking back!

In the meantime, I’m packing and resting. I think I haven’t kicked this sickness yet…Booh.

Have a great weekend!